A letter to Autumn

Dear autumn
You arrived like the spring
Filling my silence with your voilent charm,
You arrived as a false hope, like everytime
I hope you fill me with your darkness
So that I can find my moon,
Fill me with your fire
So that I can be cold,
Lead me towards the fall
So that I can rise again
Oh my Autumn
Leave me,
So that I can miss you again.
_Autumn lover

_Tafazul Mattoo
PS: hope you write me back soon.

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Silence Echoes

The silence echoes around her face,

So loud the he could hear her.

A desert which held a sea in the past and tides hit love on the shores.

Her eyes searching and scratching the beauty in deception.

Masked in pretence the she ignores,

Is she lost in something?

Or she conceives what you want to conceive.

_Tafazul Mattoo

The A and I poetry challenge (my submission) and poetry tips.

August Prompt:  Writing a Heart poem

yes,i don’t have a heart to love.

yes, i don’t know how to love.

yes, i am hard to love.

yes,  i am cold for love.

yes , i am a liar for love.

yes, i do need your love.

_Tafazul Mattoo

August Poetry Writing Tips

Finding inspiration to write poetry isn’t always easy or may not come automatically to many of us. Sometimes, our minds just get stuck for the right word. Or you can feel the word on the tip of your tongue but cannot get it out?

There are loads of tools on the net to help you in this sticky situation.

This month we look at some sites to help us find inspiration and words for our Poetry.

RhymeZone

The most popular rhyming dictionary is RhymeZone. Enter the word you need a rhyme for and Rhymezone returns multiple words that rhyme. RhymeZone also has some useful advanced features. If you want to find words that rhyme with love, just enter “love” at Rhymezone and you will get responses for one syllable and multi-syllable rhyming words. You can also search for synonyms or even definitions with this site.

Rhymes Lexemic

This site gives you options to vary the number of syllables and use a pronunciation search as opposed to one that searches on correct spelling alone.

Rhymebrain

This site gives you options in other languages

www.festisite.com/

allows you to search by tag, rhyme and submit your creation online so you can read others’ poems for inspiration.

www.b-rhymes.com/

This site gives you words that sound good together even if don’t technically rhyme.

More Rhyming Dictionary Sites

____BY  Forestwood

Happy endings without the beginnings.

Not sure if he should begin,
frightened about the endings.
He dipped his brush in the air filled with melancholy,
painting his chaos on her heart.
She followed the chaos.
its a labyrinth
that is what she thought
only frightened about the beginnings,
but they both were stuck in a maze
at different dead ends.

_Tafazul Mattoo

Post script: Difference between maze and labyrinth

A maze is a complex branching (multicursal) puzzle that includes choices of path and direction, may have multiple entrances and exits, and dead ends.

A labyrinth is unicursal i.e. has only a single, non-branching path, which leads to the center then back out the same way, with only one entry/exit point.

Nail in the coffin__ A poem.

“do you hate me? No , i just hate a relationship”

a sacrifice she made for her family and her career, that is what i thought.

how i couldn’t understand,

I wasn’t the one she would fight for.

maybe i understood but still i would live in the illusions,

comforting yourself like its a nightmare and soon you’re going to wake up.
you see, we just like to get blinded by these emotions.
we like to comfort ourselves with lies its like comforting yourself with cigarettes .

“she just hates the relationships, she cannot replace me”
“oh you poor soul, just watch me”
“a world, full of lies and hypocrites, i am so fed up of this world”

why are you sad and angry? you are free!”

“am i ? or am i like that old man from shawshank,
who killed himself after getting released from the prison?”
“we want to be free but we are addicted to the cage”

curse her if you want to set yourself free
a curse that is forever , a curse of being immortal in your poems.

do you hate me? No, i just hate a relationship, with you.

__Tafazul Mattoo

My day, My birthday (My Introduction)

On 17th June 1994 i was born, since it is my birthday and i thought it would be a perfect day for my introduction, or more like a brief story on my life and the lessons i learned through these phases of life.

Present:

Presently i am in 3rd year of my engineering course, how i landed here? read the full blog,
during these years i developed a keen interest in art, drawing and writing. Calling myself self taught artist would not be fair in this era of YouTube and google, you have all the resources which you get online to learn anything, even no one is really a self taught artist, they are simply not affiliated to a fine arts college or so. To become a master or professional all you need is consistency, smart work and the most important thing that is patience.

How i got started to learn?

writing:

i had a good interest in poetry and rap when i was very young, i was very interested in rap music and it started on a Facebook group when i saw some folks rap battling online, and yeah i took a beef which is actually funny and that what made me to write, so i wrote some short bars, later i wrote songs and found some friends of same interest and we formed a rap band called “the untitled thugs”.
and it went on for few years and i quit writing after that due to some issues which i have explained in full blog and i resumed writing a year back,now i write short poems, short stories and quotes now.

art and sketching:

i was always amazed with the artworks of some great sketch artists and i wished if i could ever learn to draw, the internet played a big role and saw some YouTube tutorial videos and i picked up this new hobby to draw, and i was fun and it felt like “yeah this is what i wanted to do” and i took it a step further and it became my passion but i wasn’t showing any progress in my art, but actually i was, i was learning how to learn, i used to watch tons of videos random videos and and it went so messy, i was confused what to learn first colors ,painting ,sketching, making portraits? slowly i learned to sort things out, everything has a sequence, so does this learning process and picked up only few channels which would ran through the whole process and had actually a sequence from where to start and how to start and i made a huge progress since then.

My Childhood:

I was a type kid who would ask lots of questions, confused from the beginning. i had no particular interests, an average kid, average at studies, activities. Only one thing i was good at was my imagination, i used to imagine and wonder a lot. But i couldn’t do anything special out of it, but as i grew up my nature of “trying to do everything kicked in”.

Teenage:

This was the time when so many of my interests developed, in the beginning my interests were in sports like karate, football and they kept changing, but later i was more concerned about the studies and so i choose to learn science and i was so sure to pursue my career in science and to become a doctor, why a doctor? because the doctors are the most reputed people in our society and i believed the best way to serve humanity was by becoming a doctor. But during my high school i developed a good interest in rap music and writing like song lyrics and quotes, so we started a rap band and was drifted in my imaginations and had no idea about how life and today’s society works, i would spend all my pocket money on this stuff and side by side i was studying for medical entrance tests. Then the reality kicked in and it was my 12th high school results and i was failed in my mathematics paper and it distracted me so much and i couldn’t focus on anything, (later i find out it was a technical error and i didn’t fail actually) but it did enough damage, now i was hardly studying or hardly writing or making any music and my entrance test results were a disaster. so i decided to get a temporary admission in a non professional course (BSc) as a backup should try again next year for my entrance tests.

COLLEGE: The toughest time of my life.

Now i was doing a BSc course and almost my each and every friend went to do a professional degree like engineering and MBBS (medical doctor) , now i was doing BSc and side by side i was studying for medical entrance exams and slowly realized i couldn’t handle them both, so i hardly used to go to the college and now even i also realized that i am not going to qualify the entrance exams and didn’t have enough resources to go to a private college to become a doctor. Now i was on an unknown island and had no idea what to do with my life. Anyways i managed to somehow pass my first year and also gave my medical entrance tests and again it was a disaster, but i was so sure that i would qualify in agricultural entrance test, which was my mini backup plan to get me out of this college, so i withdrew my admission from that college and for some time i released myself from the misery but my life shattered when i find out that i haven’t also qualified in agricultural entrance test i was not even near. I was more frustrated then i ever was, now i was completely doing nothing and i was not anymore on a lonely island but in the middle of an ocean, where i was about to get drowned and the best part was my parents didn’t even know anything about all this, they thought i doing my BSc from the college which i hated. I was all on my own, But since Geminis likes to sail in thousands of boats at the same time,the reason why we adapt so fast ,Now it was a do or die situation and decided to try my luck again for the last time in medical entrance exams but this time i knew chances are very less since you have to be among top 200 out of 50 thousand candidates also choose to study for engineering entrance exams, i had a slight interest in physics and designing, and luckily i qualified the the engineering test with a decent rank, but remember it was a backup.The big event was yet to come, The medical entrance test, the moment i have waiting for 3 years now. so i went to an internet cafe to download my admission slip for the test, and it wasn’t there, that year there were some new formalities introduced to be fulfilled by the candidates in order to appear in the entrance exam, and guess what i didn’t fulfill those formalities with the result i could not appear in the exam.

Engineering :

“adapt to survive”

left with only one option now i had to take engineering, so i choose to be a mechanical engineer because its just cool. This college gave me the best memories, best friends , best moments, a new journey where i left all my misery behind.

10 major lessons i learned so far.

  • Never Give up and never loose hope.
  • You get what you are destined for, be happy with what you have and never loose faith in what you believe in.
  • if you want to sail two boats make sure they are of same type.
  • where you are is not who you are_ by nayirah waheed
  • not only doctors can serve the humanity, even a little smile can make someone’s day.
  • you cannot learn everything and save everyone.
  • channel your obsessiveness , order your chaos.
  • control is power
  • you need to master the rules so that you can break them.
  • go after creating a good impact rather than happiness, that’s how people will remember you.

I Thank everyone for a being part of my life, especially my family and my friends and thank you everyone for wishing me on my birthday.

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